Exercise 8: Intensity of feelings

Since emotions is subjective according to each individual, there is no absolute scale in measuring emotions. This exercise is presented in such a way that allows an individual to measure their emotions on a personal level. So if you can recall the emotion that was experienced from Exercise 6, the author from the book suggests that you use the same feeling and descriptors. The only difference this time is to rate the level of intensity for each descriptor and write a summary for each descriptor according to level of intensity.

I completed mine and laid it out this way, which was slightly different from how the book had it AND though I used the same feeling, I may have changed the descriptors.

Name of feeling: Annoyance
Descriptor:
1.    Thoughts of dislike
Rating (1-10): 9
2.    Stomach turns (3)
3.    Inability to think straight (6)
4.    Loss of words – not say what I really want to say (8)
5.    Breathing pattern changes (3)
6.    Eyebrows wrinkle (5)
7.    Eyes move around the room – difficulty in focusing eyes (5)

Ratings between 1-3 are mild, 4-6 are moderate, and 7-10 are extreme.

Mild feeling: my stomach turning like my gut telling me this doesn’t seem right. This is like a warning to myself that I this may get worse if I focus too much on this detail. My breathing pattern changes when I am annoyed. I forget how to breath and relax my muscles. When this happens the wrong amount of oxygen reaches my brain needed to stay focused on important issues.
Moderate feeling: inability to think straight. I’m thinking I wish I am not around this person right now. I think they are making me miserable. Or perhaps, I make myself miserable around this person. This is my feeling, not theirs. They are narcissitic and that is not my problem. I am not responsible for their faults. I have my own that I need to deal with. I don’t need to deal with their problems. My face muscles tighten especially around my eyes, eyebrows, and my eyes do not seem to focus. My feelings show in my facial expression. I cannot hide it from myself or other people if they are perceptive enough. However, when they are so narcissitic and into themselves, they do not notice how other people feel. I know it and know that I have used that with people who are more sensitive to my feelings like my sister. She usually has a good understanding of how I feel. I also realize that it does not work with everyone.
Extreme feeling: Thoughts of dislike and loss of words. Rather saying what I really want to say like, “I don’t like that you say that” or “I wish you didn’t say that,” I fake a smile and say distracting things. Later, I get mad at myself for now saying what I really want to say. I guess a couple of things… since this is such an intense feeling of dislike, it could hurt feelings so I would rather not do that. I guess my question is so what if it hurts feelings? That is again not my responsibility. I am responsible for my own feelings. I am hard on myself for not saying what I really want to say, that I get mad at myself. I have to trust that not saying what I really feel sometimes is the right decision. I can learn to communicate things better and have things out in the open.

Though I did mine this way, it can be done in a variety ways like having an intensity level of 0 or having 50 descriptors rather than seven.

My thoughts on this exercise is that this is time consuming and I think I am ready to skip all these ridiculous exercises and move to the last page of this book. Okay *breath in oxygen to my brain* and if I had to rate that feeling, it would be a mere 4. Not quite enough to turn it loose. In all perspectives-ness, writing is an essential tool in creating a healthy mind.