Exersize 7: Qualities of Feelings

So this two month journey is rather subjective, but the good news is that I am alive and did not have a mental breakdown while taking some time off from following these exercises to a tee. More good news (if that is what you want to call it) is that I am back from my five and a half months sabbatical to airing some dirty laundry! AND I am ready to conquer the world! Not quite, though I plan on it someday or at least some part of it...

For this exercise, some may find it tedious (like me) while others may find it helpful (like me 5 months later). The purpose is to define our emotions using a variety of words that we usually do not use to define emotions. The purpose is not to justify emotions (which is something that is not necessary and may have a more negative impact) but to elaborate our feelings in a different way to have a clearer picture of what we feel.

Complete the following sentences for the feelings listed:

Happiness:
If this feeling had a color it would be ...
If this feeling was a weather it would be ...
If this feeling was a landscape it would be ...
If this feeling was music it would sound like ...
If this feeling was one object it would be ...

Continue this with sadness, fear, longing, and humiliation.

What I found helpful with this entry was that I noticed fear and humiliation had similar colors, weather, and landscape for me. This probably explains the secondary emotion (anger) that co-exists with these primary emotions. The only difference is that when I experience fear, my anger lingers inside of me and when triggered it lasts unpredictably long. For example, I have fears about my mother-in-law wanting to interfere in our lives. I usually keep these feelings bottled up until my husband says something to set it off and I blow up with a list of things that she has done or said in the last two months of evidence that she indeed once again has interfered in our lives. Most of the time he fights back to stay on topic while other times he looks at me completely puzzled. This emotion stays with me for a while. And for humiliation, it comes out quickly and leaves quickly for me. And this usually happens when my husband raises his voice because he says that I can't hear him. Well, that is just humiliating when he yells at me like I am a two year old. So I get so angry and start swearing. And within minutes, I am calm. Many times, fear and humiliation come together and that is one ugly picture, Sister.

After defining my emotions in a variety of ways, it puts things in perspective for me and also gives me a positive outlook on certain things like the mother-in-law situation. Maybe she seems to interfere in a lot of cases, but I think she is also excited and wants to be involved which can be a good thing. Also, I do have the power to set boundaries. I can and will say 'no' to my husband raising his voice at me.