Chapter 3: Define (Exercise 6: The components of experiencing emotions)

Now that I have "mastered" (not quite) the ability to distance myself from my emotions, this is a good time to define what those emotions are. The light bulb goes off in my head and I realize that I've been defining my emotions way too early on and that could have cause some "delay in successes" in the past. I thought of this one conversation I had with this guy one time. He said, "Have you heard of the saying 'housebreak your puppy before you let him in the house?" I said, "Yes" (which was a lie). So I guess defining my emotions before distancing myself was like peeing all over the carpet. Okay not really, but it was funny seeing this guy in a polo shirt tucked into his belt-less high water pants.
Actually, defining my emotions is one of my favorite things to do. So the first exercise in this chapter tells you to pick a word for a frequently experienced emotion and then breaks down the emotional experience into three components:
1. Thought processes: describe the thought processes that accompany the feeling. Include memories or statements.
2. Sensory experiences: sensory impressions or types of experiences that tend to accompany this emotion (heightened colors, vision of a face, irritating sounds, etc.)
3. Physical sensations: includes heart and breathing rate, skin sensations, muscle tension, and internal organ functioning.
*note: the three components are written without the use of any other feeling word.

Here goes mine:
ANNOYED (must be all CAPS)
1. I thought 'why is this lady nagging me rather than helping me?' She sucks at customer service. She comes up to me and tells me to put my daughter in the front part of the shopping cart with the seat-belt fastened because it is the store's policy (nothing to do with the fact that she is getting paid for being useless) and walks away. The seat-belt is missing by the way. Also, I actually know the shopping cart rules - that is not my first time in a store with shopping carts. Do I look FOB? That's fresh off the boat in case you were wondering. I have questions on where to find things in this store and she just walks away. And the nerve! She calls me "Honey" and pats me on the back. Sometimes nice is just not nice. She might as well slap me across the face for no reason. Even if she did do that and at least tell me where things are in this store, that would have been useful and better quality customer service. And don't call me "Honey!" or touch me. And where are the boxes?! My daughter was just running around and tearing the aisle apart - go right ahead -he he. No, get in the cart (without the seat-belt).
2. I sense that this store is huge, disorganized, and smells of warehouse (paint and wood). I hear loud sounds and everything in the store echoes - where am I? ... it's Home Depot. I see a lady with a hunchback and dirty finger nails approaching me with a look in her eyes. I sense trouble.
3. My eyes are dilated (j/k)... I'm tired. I am not able to get a word in edgewise. My muscles tense when she touches me. My pulse increases, but then again it is always fast. The muscles in my face tense up especially around my eyes.

As I am writing this, I think about the many times my sister has told me that I seem to get annoyed very easily. I never disagreed with her, but never really understood why I feel annoyed so often. So while I'm writing my thought processes I see the word 'useless' or another form of it come up many times, which I wasn't aware of that thought at the time of the incident. I hate to admit it but I think that is why I often feel annoyed - it is affected by people I perceive as 'useless' for that moment in time. Hmmm... I don't like thinking that way. I know that God puts every creature on this planet for a purpose so why would I perceive anyone as 'useless?' And my husband, I tell him about once a week, "You are so annoying!" I know he is not useless. Well, except when he is sitting in front of the couch watching re-runs of 'Bones' all day long. So maybe knowing something and thinking something are two completely different actions. And thinking creates trouble for us. 'NO thinking, Michelle!' Or maybe I could just be okay with my thoughts because I KNOW it is just temporary. I think I like - wait - I KNOW I like that. What do you think?